The Rightful Spoonful: Dropping the Lie of "Deserving"
Here I am thick in denial that this equally thick, luxurious free from nod to a childhood favourite of mine is in fact a moment of indulgence, of deserving, of decadence that until now, I have feigned off as me making something nutritious yet delicious for the kids when they come in like two Hungry Horace’s from school.
Pah! I see it now, it’s actually a sneaky peaky white lie I tell myself and yet, why? Why can I not plunge in the spoon with full ownership, full sensory presence, full conviction that this is a moment to celebrate having tastebuds, reaping the rewards of my own efforts, the smooshing of chickpeas, the intentional melting of coconut oil, the roasty toasty smell of baked almonds, the generous sprinkling of cinnamon, crushed vanilla seeds, a pinch of sea salt ground between thumb and index finger, the spoonfuls of earthy raw cacao powder and a good damn gloopy gloppy glop of local heather honey, all blitzed, blended and brought together into a rich and right chocolate spread.
I pretend I am tasting it, checking the balance of flavours, I spoon it in the jar, convinced that the jar is too small for the smattering left in the mixing bowl. I can’t give it to the dog, one being’s poison is another’s prize, there’s only one thing for it. In it goes and it tastes so good!
Then it dawned on me, what is this belief that I can’t just savour and enjoy my rightful spoonful of the good stuff? How many other experiences am I tasting but not fully embracing? Don’t we all deserve to consciously make choices that bring us joy, that make us feel alive without first having to earn it? Who told us that we had to deserve or earn the right for life’s simple pleasures? Who said abundance is something that we have to work hard for and isn’t something that innately exists within the essence of life itself if only we can re-know it to be true. I am not talking about something outside of us, the fancy house, the fast car, the matching designer shoes or handbag or the status symbols that someone somewhere in our society decided was indicative of success.
This is about coming back to the raw essence of who we are. It is about returning to really simple things—stepping away from the noise of everyday life, dropping the heavy narratives that society demands we carry, and stepping back into the real richness of our bodies, our breaths, our beings, our power. As women, amidst the endless output of productivity, it is our absolute right to stop denying ourselves, to claim the rest and nurturance we need, and to actively practice the things that allow us to connect back to our own core essence.
Like the trees in the enchanted woodlands right now, we are being called to shed the superficial stories we have been told about what we must "earn" or "deserve." True abundance isn't a future reward; it is an innate state of being that lives right here in the present moment, waiting to be tasted. It is found when we slow down, ground into the earth, and look beneath the roles we play every day to find the unshakeable gold, chocolate spread essence at the core of who we truly are!
If you are ready to put down the white lies of self-denial, step away from the busy autumn rush, and consciously claim your rightful space to just be, join me for a morning of profound re-alignment. On Saturday, 24th October, I am hosting the Return to Essence: Women’s Connecting to Nature Mini-Retreat in the cosy Temple Village Hall and surrounding woods. Together, under the building light of the near-full moon, we will gather in circle, open our hearts with ceremonial spiced cacao (Ah – chocolate is a bit of a theme!!!), release physical tension with somatic movement, and write our own personal mythologies.
Space is limited to keep our container intimate and sacred. [Click here to claim your space in the circle for £42] and return home to the essence of you.
Oooh and the important bit - the recipe!
Chocolate Chickpea Spread.... (YES CHICKPEAS I KNOW!)
1 x tin of chickpeas drained
2 x tbsp raw cacao or cocoa powder
2 x tbsp coconut oil melted
1/4 cup toasted almonds (or nuts or seeds of choice) finely blitzed
1 x tbsp of honey or date syrup (add more if you like it sweet!)
1 x tsp cinnamon
1/2 x tsp ground cardamon (optional)
1 x tsp vanilla pod powder or essence (optional)
pinch of sea salt
Blitz all ingredients it in a food processor or blend using a soup stick blender - challenge is not to eat it all before it goes in a jar! Refrigerate once made and use within 4 days if it lasts that long! Tastes great up straight, on toast or oatcakes. Enjoy!
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